There is a Zulu proverb which says,
‘I cannot hear you what you say, because what you are thunders at me.’
Once you are a strategic leader, the what and the how of the business or of your organisation is delegated to others. When you are a CEO, a member of an executive team, or in the board room and beyond – it is who you are that matters most.
Who you are, aligned to how, and with whom, you relate. How you use your own presence and story to connect and engage with the key stakeholders gathered on your particular stage is paramount to your personal success. It also paves the way to the success of your leadership and the collective achievements of the communities you serve.
Usually, when starting out with a new client, whether an existing or a newly appointed leader, or a team, one of the first things I ask is for them to share the significant people, places and events that have shaped their narrative as a leader so far. Not always, but often, the qualities of leadership they exhibit have been learned during childhood (for better or for worse) from a parent or a significant other, such as a teacher. Some of the ways we behave as leaders may also connect to our position in our family of origin, if we have siblings, or not.
Whilst we are certainly not prisoners to these early patterns – by observing them from a distance we can understand more about our strengths, as well as what we may have to watch out for in our distinctive leadership style. Once we harness our formative years with the seasoned experience of our careers to date and what brings us joy in the midst of the rigours of our day to day work, then the tapestry that makes up who we are as a leader begins to take a particular shape. It then reveals an exceptional picture, which is unique to each of us. And from here, confidence is forged.
Along the way, each of us usually has had a ‘crucible moment’, when the substance of our being may have been severely tested – like metal in a saucer beneath the intense heat of a Bunsen burner, an alchemy which turns our fierce experiences of life into gold. This could be the loss of someone we love, a conflict from which it is difficult to recover, or being ousted from a role in a very public way. Whatever it is, part of the work I do is to help each leader stitch and weave that experience into their leadership narrative – so that it turns into the weft and the warp of their leadership style.